the good times ended in tears again
a week tt brot back the memories of the past
that's nice
lotsa of teasing, lotsa of laughter
lotsa of fun?
cnt help but cos of the painful past
heart ached loads
so glad tt u were ard at pump room dear:)
thanks for ur presence
i strongly believe it's a test that God is putting me through
this time round, im grateful for the week
it's God's plan for us to be on the job tgt
I am grateful to you, im grateful that you have found me
I will follow your teachings, your words and i believe that you have planned my life
and all these are the passing phase which i have to go through to prove that i am worthy of you
frankly, i dun hate you
you r you, you r nice
you will be my fran
glad tt im feeling this way this time rd
a lil pain pain along the way will not hurt me or destruct me
a new me and im wrking twds a better me:)
so silly
cant believe tt i can be so touched by the show tt tears just welled up n flowed
just so ridiculous
wad hj said is true...i may c wad i dun wanna c so no point gg
happy for u my fran! really happy for all my frans:) mb my sis soon?
living for the moments
last fri was fun..those lil talks...e game etc.. thanks ..thanks for speaking up n asked wad i prefer but really guilty for the rest had to go w my choice
'fated to love you' is nice..so close to heart..its bt this ger not being able to like whu she likes..shes just trying to enjoy wadever time she has with him as eventually they wun be tgt...is this the drama's ending? i doubt so as all drama serials will haf a fabulous ending..
oh well all these endings r fairy tales which will not occur in reality...
'happiness for no reason' tactics kept appearing in my head
psychoing myself to believe, to practise
it's hard truthfully
tough to wanna achieve to achieve 'happiness for no reason'
internal struggle i mus say
used to wish tt times wun pass so fast n remain at the happier days/ moments
now, starting to fear the presence of those moments
dun wanna recall
dun wanna tink
dun wanna remember
trying hard to not let those surface
yah the key word ' is trying'
'take a weeks off to go bangkok n haf fun tgt;
join cf tgt;
if u were to go i wll go;
u r my only fran in kpmg'
haha..used to really believe these
now...yah still believe but not as much?
nice to hear this 'sugary' phrases
but protecting myself is a priority
aint sure how close u two were/ are the other time
mb a new target?
curious to wanna noe
no..i wun wanna noe cos the response will always be hurt
shuling n siewkoon ask me not to be a heartbreaker
'not to be a heartbreaker?'
then wad bt pple breaking a heartbreaker's heart?
haha..an irony..
no..all i wan is jus a fran..i mean frans to hang ard
'it's obvious tt he has other intentions' they say
i noe but wad can i do?
he's my fran n jus needa make it clear tt it can stay tt way for now
used to think it will be easy
used to think tt im strong
used to think tt i can survive all these..
used to think of a lot alot of things
since lost the power to defend myself
lost the energy to fight
cant be as happy as before, i noe
no matter how, applying the happiness techniques may help
i only wan to be happy
all songs seem so close to heart
silly..
thanks for the msg
thanks for shwing u care
now..it's different
cos it's the same for everyone
tears wun stop
she's there
there to shw she cares
needn't be there
cos my existence aint necessary
till then, it may not hurt tt much
till then, u may not be tt impt
till then, we can be frans
till then, we may turn strangers
till then, i will be shown the way
the way to happiness, freedom, inner peace
OT-ed for a while on wed..dun really need to
'ive gt sthg to tell you but i cant tell u now'
haha..exact wordsa which were told to you
'if you were to go, i will be damn sad'
really? you think so? r u sure..doubting
thanks for the msg anw
in the midst of recovery, there r bolts of short term happiness
moments of jealously
times of depression
when will it be over?
(closeness leads to sadness, happiness leads to sadness, jealousy leads to sadness...in the end, no matter what it is its still revolves ard the wrd: sad. )
its huijing's last day..will miss u babe! uve been there for me..always! im really glad tt im a fran like you!
3 weeks past, there's calmness
tues..dinner. thurs dinner
wed msged..thanks for the concern
y lk lil sad..dun ask..jus dun ask..cos u wun wanna noe the reason
ya chose to ignore or treat it as 'heard wrgly'
thanks for the responses
time will heal..ya with strength
eventually it will be fine
(mb mtg is a mistake..shortterm happiness is a given..experiencing is a gift or lesson? lesson learnt the painful way)
at ease?
i suppose i am..
tried...responses tell me tt it aint gg to work
moving on and leading a life, my life is wads gg to happen from now on
no matter how, no matter what things wun change
the world will not stop revolving even if i were to immerse myself in misery
y not live happily?
gonna go fo r eyelash perming..haha..hopefully will haf bambi-look/ the barbie look!haha
spending lotsa of bucks on facial, mani, pedi, now eye lash perming..clothes..shoes..bags ..if i were to scrimp on all these, i wld be a lil richer!haha
its okie!
focus on work, hafing fun with my dollies, pals
thanks so much for showing care and concern my frans! thanks!!i am a lucky ger after all:)