always having premonition..sometimes its good sometimes its bad..today? sadly its the latter:(
aint feeling well in the first place. very lethargic the whole day even my tutee gtta correct me for my mistakes...so tired tt me even complained bt it n thot of skipping todays class:( knew todays class is gonna be a flop..sians..
next? haha..though we've registered for the milkrun, there's always a 30% thought in me tt we wun be able to make it eventually..
yah and both came true:(
current feeling? dejected depressed disappointed irritated super tired
its not due to the run though it wld be good for me to go relax and have fun to experience such events..haha...mb its cos its no luck bahs..there will be more runs ahead mb can sign up for those instead:)
today's class? wasnt myself wasnt paying close close attention..did a little warm up and off to the studio...gtta record verse by verse..all of them recorded successfully..cos mes the last one mine wasnt complete..reason: wrong falsetto usage..sighh..blame it on my past experiences in choir?or was it natural? it's a flaw confirm...we realised its no longer fun ktv-ing cos we r always so conscious of how we sing...not enjoying ourselves like last time..cos we ve grown used to the studio atmosphere..yah
laoshi asks jon laoshi to help me with my verse..think hes tired after gg thru 3 sgs..weihao took ard 45mins, miaoru bt 20 mei bt 20 mines bt 25-30min...yah n their verses were done..mine aint:( irritated tt me jus cant gt the normal and falsetto right...luckily jon laoshi taught me else if laoshi were to do it think i will gt whacked hard:9 alas...even im disappointment with myself...okie im tired must be...mei told me tt she overheard laoshi suggested to jon laoshi to lower the keys..and yah i agree den me will be using my normal tone to sing...
one comforting thing for the night? jon laoshi is so charismatic..he taughtt me the first 2 lines of the verse:) dun really dare to look straight into his eyes mans...i must have looked super dumb or blushing like crazy:( wah all the seh all gone..but at least hes more patient?a little weird to hear him speak in chinese cos hes so angmoish..n yah laoshi says tt he will let an angmohish teacher correct me cos im an angmohish student...haha...okie so i was lucky?:P..mei told me she gt 'dian' oso when he was teaching her how to use diaphgram jus now as well..haha..so both of us gt 'dian' by him..haha..was telling mei sthg ridiculous..told her tt me wun mind being his student and jus gt mesmerised by him weekly but of cos will learn nothing lahs!haha...alright shall cut my crap!
though today's recording for myself wasnt good, practices mus continue!i mus work harder and try with lower keys....yes!they can do it i can too!must show laoshis tt i can do it!and of cos prove to myself tt i can too!yah so dats it...ive gt only 1 week to improve to focus on improvements...yah next sat ive gtta prove to laoshi! quite obvious tt miaoru is his fav. n has the possibility tt she will gt to cut an album in the future, its okie..shall learn as much as possible..
give up? no way!cant jus give up lidat..jus the 5th session cant jus gif up lidat...dat wun be me!
suddenly realise tt mes only succeeding a little in studies...aint trained in other things...sighh...i wld love to play the piano, the organ, the violin etc..envious...i wld luf to excel in sports?
tmr will be a good day at least me gtta rest at home..sleep and practise practise practise! i can do it!i hafta do it and ive gtta show tt i can!
all the way JOLEEN!
(haha...new crush? oh mans...even i cant stand myself for crushing so easily esp. guys with such musical talent!:P haha..so shant paiseh myself in front of him nex week...IMPROVE will be the word!)
met up with daph jeremiah shunzhao for lunch at swensons ytd..it's been a long time since ive been to this restaurant:) yah the food aint as exciting alr..haha..had the executive lunch set and as usual no dinner after dat...prefer mtg for lunch compared to dinner cos i can jus lump 2 meals into one..n disgestion's slow at night so nopes!or it will b real light ones like salad soup etc for dinners...yups!
finally got my working heels from tangs..its a brown pair from tangerine:) quite nice at least the design is different from those frm novo, charles and keith and urs..hmm..no wonder peeps like to buy stuff frm branded stores..wah okie at least mines not that ex..i shall work hard and get my 2nd pair soon..n my ultimate aim?hopefully i will be able to get my subsequent pairs frm aldo, nine west, americaya, tang+studio soon!cool! as for clothes? i will upgrade slowly...the executive wear frm zara is good but super ex!haha..oh well a yr frm now i will be able to grab a few pieces at the zara sales with my savings...so its gonna be a 'saving campaign'!
influence?influenced? influential? hmm...i tink im an easy target pertaining to this area
...shoes must be trendy, comfortable, not too 'cheap-looking', be daring...clothes are the same...brands? at our current stage apart frm gucci, prada, ferragamo, coach..the rest? okie of cos not those pasa malan kind..remember in our field style, appearance counts...superficial?yupps but impression counts..cosmetics is another category..shld upgrade myself in this category real soon at least for my skin care..no more those frm watsons, guardian...thinking of fancl..haha..shall see how and im hafing a feelin that my beautician will try to pyscho me into buying their products again..haha..so u see how stressful it is to be..comparison comparisons comparisonssss! aha...no stress no gain
daphs right!we were toking bt work progression aims and stuff...making lots of money is a common goal no wonder when we hear tt our counterparts are drawing a higher starting uneasiness sets in..haha...ours isnt tt bad i guess at least acc. to shan, ey's 2nd yr will be drawing at least a 2.9k which is a 0.7k pay increment! frm my pt of view its pretty good but some may think otherwise..personally i believe in long term increments..yah..n great!after a year we can all start looking out for credit cards!okie!ill definitely want a citibank card!so many perks!haha..and after 3 yrs of slogging and savings investments will come into the picture..so exciting..
it aint surprising to hear tt we r aiming for partnership..at least its the long long long term goal for me felix n jeremiah...yah that will be at least 10 yrs...cool! as a partner dere r those really good ones so i shall aim for the senior partner!haha..okie tt will be a bit too far but no harm dreaming and setting goals wad!yups
nice meetup..slacked at nydc after tt and had my pretty sweetie strawberrymilk:) so PINK!!!so happy!haha..great!
oh yah think i quite like products frm the face shop..the lip gloss..jus bought an oilbase makeup remover..need a good one tt cleans thoroughly since ive gtta be all 'made-up' from wed onwards..so mus really tk good good care of my face!shall see if its good bbut gtta finish using my loreal one! hmm...shan recommended a fancl oilbased remover..shall try when im richer..haha...oh yah the face shops hafing sale:)
haf been seeing alot of ladies carrying COACH and LV bags!haha...funny always seems to be standing behind one when im on the escalators..hmm..wad bt GUESS? seems like its a bit of a lower class...a bit auntie-like oso..haha..bonia too..frans told me bonia's an auntie brand..haha..okie din noe..oh well shant comment more since im currently not able to own those..yups
yeah!tmr's sat again!done with the homework so shall go practise my songs after bathing...lalala
dunno y but suddenly dun feel like gg for meetups unless it's with some very very close frans..BOO?
y?im uncertain too..suppose to go to mandy's chalet with kj, hs, iriss, joey..yet cos hs cnt make it till late evening but me cant stay ltr cos of work the next day...so gtta gif it a miss:p hmm...hafing abit of headache as well..bleah:(
good tt me ys n charmx met up this afternoon..we slacked at new york new york till ard 2 plus den made our way to gloria jeans at raffles city and planted ourselves dere frm 330 to 5 plus before we started to make our way home...though we din do make jus sit dere...drink soup drink coffee talk, stone, crap, laugh at pple whu were queuing for doughnuts at doughnut factory, it was enjoyable esp. with my good khakis ard..at least i feel very comfortable, safe and good! hmm..mb cos mes tired or mb due to the setting in of another rd of depression me din really wanna acknowledge the presence of the few ntu tut. mates..they cfmed noticed my presence at gloria jeans but din say hi till we were on our way to guardian n had to pass by the peeps..they were friendly afterall
yah, deniece called to ask if me can make it for the bbq org by hillstreet guys...din wanna go esp when its bk in hall..so far so late..not worth it..den deniece msged to say tt the guys decided to change it to sat next week but cos of my classes me cant too! tt's one thing, on the pther hand, i dun really feel like gg...dun feel like mtg peeps frm hall, esp. them sians..y? im asking myself too..nopes, none of them offended me..no one to be exact but dun really wanna entertain them..or mb they r feeling likewise.so y am i complaining?dunno? i jus wanna complain:( thing theres really sthg wrong with me..sighh..mb its cos of avoidance? avoid? avoid for wad? so many mths alr...shld be hafing the 'used to it' ' none of my bix' feeling...mb i jus cant b bothered with stuff..mb ive gt nothing to contribute when i meet em...mb im hafing 2nd thought cos i noe i will be the target of entertainment..they mean no harm but im seriously sick and exhausted frm those alr...yr 1, yr 2, yr 3...and now?come yr 4?c'mon! wadever...pms-ing...
okie me shall be a good student and do my research on kogi tamaki n celion dion so tt me cant share my thoughts with laoshi n frans on sat..be engrossed in practising my songs, grab any remaining time which ive left to slack, spend time at home, lidat can save money too...yah..
tink me shld go haf a good bath and sleep, cool down etc..boo:(
falling into solitude isnt tt bad afterall
cant figure the definition of fairness, sometimes i do feel dat life's fair yet recently i am feeling otherwise..so issit fair or unfair? how not to question fairness when samantha told me tt 2 of the kids' parents r both dumb and deaf..how not to question fairness when one keeps failing even if he has worked his heart and soul, how not to question when some are born in wealthier families, more properous families, better living environments etc. den wad bt those children being enslaved in china? alaass? life's never fair i must say..similarly it's like saying no one's perfect, the world isnt perfect etc etc...sighh...
specially set aside yesterday's afternoon for VJ's CT council's meetup yet it din take place...haha..tink we r all so cropped up with stuff dat we r waiting for each other to arrange and stuff...it's tough co-ordinating and after years of doing so mes really bored of doing so...okie this may explain y the meetup wasnt realised..haha
however, it was also due to this dat i was free and so me n yj hastily arranged a last minute ktv session at suntec!yeah! this is only the 2nd time at kbox during this hols for me:( so unlike me right?haha..oh well din plan to go ytd really and thanks yj really for accompanying..haha..so happened dat both of us were free...nice to haf frans whu share the same interest as me!amongst my frans only felix, yj and winnie share the same interest..as in whenever i feel like gg and my sis cun make it ive only em to turn too:( quite sad but it's alright cos not everyone has the same interest..yah..so i really treasure whichever session we have!really! thanks alot babes and dudes..so as a 'mike hogger' ytd's session was great...one mike each..sing till crazy so we took turns..NICE! if only ive more frans whu can go ktv with me:( ktv-ing and formal singing are indeed very different, cant conc. well as we r always trying to 'chase after' the lyrics, watching the MVs whilst studio is all quiet..the images should be in the mind...all ears r on u..the stress to sing ur best etc.. comments tt will follow after each recording etc..tried to sing as if i was in the studio but gave up since its simply impossible!so jus relaxed and had fun..
after 4 hrs of intense vocal exercise, we went kenny roger at marina sq..finally ate the sides luf the corn niblets!the cheesy macaroni forgot to order steamed veg:( bleah...though the portions were manageable me only finished the corn niblets whilst yj helped me with the potato and the cheesy macaroni..reason? self-explanatory..
a long dinner it was..a long talk?mb it's cos we haven updated each other for a long while..din noe bt his side of things, it's always me complaining to him bt things, releasing my unhappiness, my sadness etc onto him..he mus haf felt burdened? or mb its jus hear n forget? nvm..thanks for listening to me all these while..thanks for being dere for my 2 yrs in hall..1st yr? it was another him..i dunno wad to say but to really thank both of u sincerely..frm the bottom of my heart! really! n of cos my dearest exroomie--daphne!yes you daphne..with u acc. me in hall in uni for the past 3 yrs i was really glad..i am really blessed to have u as my fran..those times when we jus toked in our room in yr 1 to yr 2 n 3 when we could just enter each other room to tok..the feeling was really memorable..thanks for ur encouragement, ur advices and im really sorry to have broke down a few times..so paiseh but i really wanna thank you my dear fran!:)
so gtta noe him a little better after a 2hrs dinner and yah u were veri nice to have waited with me for my train n u will definitely find ur ger whus really deserving of u cos u r a great person!
okie...getting all emo again..hmm..shall thus cease here..
yeah seeing yanshan again!so happy...
the theme song for the closing down ceremony of Singapore's National Staduim this coming saturday..im quite surprised by the title when we were copying the lyrics in the mini room at tinybox..
ytd's class started at least 50mins later than usual..guess all of us were a little exhausted from the wait..trying hard to occupy ourselves with magazines of past issues and those from malaysia..haha...yah bet these malaysian prints were brought in by Desiree. shes indeed quite popular across the straits as articles on her were published..think she has since slimmed down quite a bit..haha...or issit the 'photo-enlargement' effect..shes pretty nice and friendly..no airs..n of cos pretty lahs!haha
supposed to be learning how to use the diaphragm as stated in the course outline but in the end we did sthg more interesting than jus the normal lesson!yes!!i felt tt its so so cool! the 4 of us and a senior from the advance class were tasked to be the backup voices of the theme song, dreams, as stated above! one good thing is tt its an english song so no probs with pronunciation and stuff and its quite catchy too! so after practising a few rounds with laoshi's presence, OFF we went into the studio!haha..imagine us the 4 'teletubbies' ( acc. to laoshi we do look like one) in the seethrough room with music blasting into our ears..haha...the feeling? SHIOK!
yah, 4th time into the studio and the fear of being in it is slowing decreasing:) so the four of us were crowding around the mike stand, listening to the instructions from our dearest zhenhui to sing, re-sing, pause and so on...so were in there for an hour...it was really a fresh experience i must say..though we were only backups for kit chan, we are only students from the basic class and our 4th session!this is indeed a thrilling thought..esp. when laoshi said tt we sd better than some of his other classes which were tasked with this activity..apart frm this 'major' recording the lesson ended with lesson introducing 2 vocalists..
last time i used to really analyse things but as time past i realised tt being so critical, being such a deep thinker can be self-destructing to an extent.. i mean psychologically..mei wasnt wrong when she pointed out tt ytd's class was some sort like a waste of money cos we din learn much, cant hear ourselves as we were drowned in our own voices. part of me agreed with her yet i felt tt the lesson was invaluable!how many peeps out dere can jus walk into the recording room n be backup?okie,this sds defensive n sort of a comforting statement..but seriously, it's true right? it's an experience which laoshi has given to his students. music is bt teamwork, no matter how insignificant it may seem, at least we r part of the making of the song..if everyone thinks like this and only wanna be the center of attraction, the lead singer, the main cast etc etc. then how will the end product be like? imagine kit chan singing with no backups, the effect may not be as magnificant, imagine a serial without supporting cast...ya get wad i mean..haha
gifing tuition in half hr time and its 10am on a sunday morn..:) yet another week is gonna be over soon n me shall treasure this very last week before work starts!busy real busy!
mon: work
tues:work+chilling out with charms n shan at new york new work
wed: work+mandy's chalet(pending)
thurs:work+mtg with daph
fri:work
sat:tuition+ vocal class
sun:milkrun
mon:swim+last minute shopping for working stuff
tues:work
WED!!!!: START WORK AT KPMG OFFICIALLY! 830am...hongleong bldg,raffles place
hmm..so packed no time to slack at home le:(haha
shall nap in the afternn afternn tuition ltr..so nice to be at home on a sunday!
the happies:
1) mei's gg to leave tt horrendous job at ntu, taking over the job at the studentcare center where im working at now:)hopefully it's a better environment
2)yanshan is gg to takeover my slot at this studentcare center as well!yeah, at least uve gt a job pending now ger!haf fun!
3) me's gg to work soon, so mb mum will feel more liberated.less need to nag at us, more freedom to listen to her fav. hokkien tracks
4) celebrated father's day on mon think dad did enjoy the meal:)
5) though pei is rebellious n rude, she's working twds her triple science course..wishing u all the best
6) current lifestyle, work for 2 hrs, nap, watch tv, practise singing, eercising,sleep! gtta lose all these real soon
7) gg out with shan tmr to jalan jalan..look out for a nice watch for work
8) saturday is cming again!
9) clarence, zhenhao and darius r back..hmm..clarence will be bk next week..hopefully can meet up bfore work starts
10) motivated cos ive set myself clear goals..goals tt will steer me fwd and a very important one which ive given myself 10 yrs to achieve..determined and clearheaded im prepared for this battle..its aint gg to be easy but im confident tt i will b dere eventually...so daydreaming isnt bad afterall!so peeps SET UR LIFETIME GOALS now!
11)the little sms exchange:)
the unhappies:
1) physical stress, working twds perfection..can do better
2) recalling the past feelings
3)the same little sms exchange
since the happies are much more than the unhappies so it seems tt mes rather contented with my life:)
mb gg for a gathering at a chalet next wed..org by mandy, my uni fran..quite surprised tt she invited me..hmm..wil decide if me will go eventually depending if huishan is gg:) haha..hey ger!hope ya haf a good hol in bangkok!haha..tell us bt it ya!
din actually feel like co-ordinating the meetup but since daphy isnt ard so ive gtta do it..yah..thanks for asking n noticing..guess no matter how dere will still be 2 empty slots never filled..thankfully dere aint a 3rd..im sorry for taking u for granted..theres no turning back yah it's only fwd no backwards..ya like wad ya say u will always be mummy's brother..i thank you for those times..for being dere when i was low down dere
laoshi was surprised when we told him we werent attached before..haha..still remembered tt me was proud to say 'ling'..his expression was like 'really?'..yah i had to give him reassurance still...lol..no wonder the 'feel' isnt dere..it may not be obvious but after listening to the studio 's recording its obvious lahs..hmm..no wonder dey always say must haf the experience to haf the feel..but isnt it utterly dumb to get into one jus to get the feel which is very much required in singing..in the expression..seriously speaking me wun mind to get the feel laoshi is talking bt..yah..sds bad right cos ive gt an ulterior motive beneath...it isnt fair right?
wadever, as wad ive always believ when it comes it will:)
wanna thank laoshi for his comments though i had only gone thru the 3rd lesson of the 24..improved? yah i guess in terms of the breathing, pronuncation..ill work twds perfection...the falsetto control, the feel, the rhythemic sense...alot alot of hard work i must admit..
a good school is one thing a good student is another..guess his relatively flattering comments for the 4 of us were usefful as least i was encouraged and thanks zhenhui-our beloved studio recording assistant! u noticed pur improvement!cool!
feeling better? i dunno cos singing used to be a form of relaxation n weihao (fellow and the only guy amgst the 4 of us) realised too..realised dat its more stressful whenever we are singing now..yah so this is the form of sacrifice tt comes with it,,with kenn laoshi's words ringing i noe ive gt to work hard and i cannot let him down!yes!i cant n i cant let myself down as well..my aim: to improve, to be better, to have fun, to...
there are a lot of things gg on in my mind yet i cant express them in words..enjoying my last 2 weeks before work and trying to arrange meetups with frans..n i realise the days aint enuff..haha
still cant really believe tt lao shi is kenn wu laoshi..so blur tt me only knew it last lesson when we were in his office hafing our warming up lessons...the little cards hung on the board 'told' me so..im proud to be his student and so to not let him know i mus work like a mule! i noe works starting so all the more i mus noe how to balance...juggling exercise, interest n work..the more practical side of me
reading up a bit on horoscope n aries is a born leader n i tink its quite true to an extent..mb its cos of laoshi's influence..fun oso to read stuff lidat..believing?still not to tt extent
guess the desire aint burning as strong cos ive a clear goal for wad im doing so when i see desiree, the malaysian superstar every sat, me wasnt jealous..on the other hand it's admiration n mes inspired to work harder
it's really unbelievable tt me will haf such opportunities to come into contact with such pple in the entertainment scene..yes im rash to have enrolled but me aint regretting..mum mb nagging n aint very approving but she will come to terms with this...i mus show her my improvement
really glad dat me nv let my jap teacher down hafing scored better than expected..arinagtou gozaimasu senseh!
working on my backup song by tanya chua n yes!i believe things can only get better n yah! to be successful to be a winner to be able to reach for wad i desire, optimism is the KEY!
i noe wad i wan i noe if i wan i have to i will n im believing!
may god bless me, my family and all my acquaintances!even YOU who r reading my entries n me dun happen to noe u personally..look ahead n u will be able to do it..remember, have the strength to believe!
met up with hs n kj to gt our convo gowns this afternn..cant believe tt it's really fast n furious! okie mums complaining dat me shldnt haf bought the gown..was quite excited to show her but currently my moods totally affected..irritated since she aint interested den ill jus show my dad ltr when hes back..hmm gonna wait for mei to grad den we shall take the photos 2 yrs ltr since ive alr paid for the deposit alr:P
convocation convocation...busy with convocation?sians..tink still have a bit of misc stuff to do before the actual day which is on july the 24th tue..bleah:(
was out with shan on sun n zg saw me crossing the road to isetan...good thing was he said tt mes slimmer!haha..good good!me shall work harder n lose at least 1 kilo more!
spent quite a bit this hols n my pockets r bleeding alr:( gonna recoup them with this month's pay plus the GST rebate package...waiting for next weekend to come, my tuition fees!den it will be shoes n watch for work..
shant continue...damn pissed n agitated cant really conc! urghh!
finally real pissed minutes ago!urghh, woke up frm my afternn nap just to give tuition to the kids n TADA!!got cancelled during the last minute!urghh!okie mb its my fault for misreading the sms this morning!but urghh...so me have to wait for another session bfore me can get my june's pay!
broke!tt explains why i'm working daily, 2hrs at pasir ris..till today, it's the 4th day and im getting used to them and sort of enjoying it?haha..a studentcare centre tucked away at one corner of the flat..quite nice i feel n the centre is well kept:) samantha, the owner, (affectionately being addressed as auntie samantha by the kids) used to be a teacher..a capable woman who can handle them..guess its hard on her as she has to take care of her son jet as well, luckily, her in-laws are rendering her a helping hand..it's real hard to manage career and family esp. when children come into the picture..yah..kudos to auntie samantha:)
the kids? quite a number of adorable ones:) so basically being 9bucks an hr to supervise, mark n explain to them their mistakes..haha..simply put its being a tutor but the setting is in a studentcare centre..hopefully me aint showing favouritism to anyone ya..teachers by right shldnt be doing so, oh well deres always a by LEFT!haha..give them work they do, afterdat they will play. run ard the center etc..typical n i noe..regretting sending the withdrawal letter? guess not yet..me aint regretting but looking fwd n cherishing the coming days at the center with the kids..a p1 boy real cute, puny, but dun play play cos he can speak fluent english, all of them can btw!dat makes communication easier..hes so ultimately adorable i tell u!so this is junyao..next is jonathan, another potential smartie..tink he's p4?hmm..ever so polite n he has to thank me so many times after explaining his mistakes to him..even got teased by auntie samantha for 'bowing' to me...in fact he was looking down searching for the stuff which he had dropped...ya, n this pair of twins..jiaqi n jiahui..so alike hmm..give me more time n ill be able to differentiate them..sadly dere r 2 boys whu tend to be a little weak..the gers r rather well-behaved..so that's good..its nice to be surrounded by these loveable darlings, though it's tiring to have to crawl out of bed at 6 odd just for the 2 hrs, they make my day looking at them play...ever so energetic!those smiles..
finally shans done with her exams today!dats like 6 weeks lah...waited 6 weeks to meet, shop, slack with u YANSHAN!!cant wait for sunday to come..haha..breakfast at cedele?den shop i mean window shop since mes penniless:( craving for cedele's pancake!hopefully can have dat for breakfast on sun!yeah!!haha..okie the desserts r nice but me gtta resist else my slimming gel n stuff will go to waste alr..haha
my levis voucher..hmm..okie mes gg to get my first ever levis this sun!yeah!:)
tmr's fri n yongjie just told me results gonna be out..wah sians..haha..gonna be away at work in the morn shall just see when mes online again n it aint my style to rush to log in to check early in the morn..so depends on my mood bah!haha
the week is coming to an end alr and sat is cming again..kenn is a good teacher, that's the first impression ive got..n yes he's strict indeed..this week class is at aljunied even nearer to our house!good good..wondering how it will be like..the studio will definitely give me the creeps..n im serious so damn quiet..oh well it's an experience not everyone will get to have or interested to have..like what huishan said it's a hobby n so i guess only i will know the pleasure/s of it:) focus has changed so the result aint important cos it's the process which im looking at
btw, thanks hs!thanks for reformatting the lappie for me!yeah it aint gg to be slow animore!haha
hmm..5.12pm n mes sleepy again..yawns haha..always looking forward to nighttime with all the tv programmes packed till 10 n next will be bedtime again!so the day starts afresh at 615am n another week will be gone alr!yups