My Colourful World-;

Thursday, November 29, 2007

passive?yes i tink u r really passive..

said dat im dao?haha..jus din wan to initiate..
so aint initiating today and ya jus simply let it be?oh well thanks then

nice chatting though

been online for past few days..y?tired i noe but chose to come online
hes always there always msned...but yah its jus gonna stay as it is:)

so excited today!tried on a pretty black dress..me jl n sl went shopping during our lunch break!haha! our 2nd day into our dieting cum detoxing plan...tmrs day 3!yeah

oh no!shld i gt the dress?darn pretty..haha gys so funny..wanna sponsor me?thanks but no thanks..haha..oh no!!:(

guess its you yuan wu fen

anw the cming weekends will be packed with activties...mtg with frans celeb xmas..shopping etc etc...so nice! n 3 more weeks to hols!!cool!11 days of 12 days of leave!!!

tmr's fri!

im wondering hw it will be like next week...hope tt there will be any awkwardness:)

6:35 AM

Sunday, November 25, 2007

went out alone ytd
tough luck trying to exchange for a bigger size for the stndchart's singlet..boo:(
wanted to go out for a breather

parked myself at one of my fav cafes- my companion.. place where i can find tranquility, comfort, peace..place where i can seek inner peace, place where i spent endless days mugging for papers in uni...be it coffee bean, starbucks, gloria jeans.. i love them!

brought work out to do though guess me aint suppose to..but whu cares..wanted to order the cakes but its gonna be darn sinful so endless up w a shepherd's pie and a very very vanilla..aint exactly satisfied so had my fav, cinnamon suger pretzel frm auntie annes..hmmm..yum yum..tink its cos of the morn swim tt caused me to b hungry..wad a coincidence, saw matt n jane..haha..funny to c matt in berms..

gtta agree tt shpping alone can be fun..at least theres no nid to accomodate..went into almost every shop in suntec, marina shop raffles city..time seemed to crawl past..simply dun wish to get home early..simply feel like hanging ard

bot a nice collared formal but lil casual top at 20% off, a tube top and a pair of low heels..wanted to buy more but no lahs..more shopping to come

it's awkward..tink its cos of wads happening..totally uncalled for when he said so and when she told us wad was discussed..bestest..no wonder so weird..its okie

cant wait for my frans. my sis to complete their exams..at least ive gt frans to keep me company..to keep me occupied

no point harping on the unhappies

xmas' coming
the initial excitement etc. is gone..
jus gonna forget bt spending on those
save up for hk:)

lessons starting n me mus perform
channeling all energy on wad ive gt and wad im suppose to do
no point wasting time on the unnecessary

i shall be happy
i wanna see my usual bubbly cheerful pretty self
wanna see the confident carefree smiley me
wanna see the active extroverted energetic joleen

i believe i can i can and i will see the light real real real soon:)

5:25 AM

Thursday, November 22, 2007

thanks babe..thanks for telling me it's ok
thanks for letting me noe its alright and suggesting ways for me to overcome the potential prob.
'rebound', 'substitute'? haha
i dunno

u seem happier, new love, own up..dats wad u said..
walking off may seem happier
escaping as usual seems like a gd choice
gg hk at the end of the year? so many times ahs?

mb its really a rebound, a revenge on myself?

looks betta?mb?
feeling betta?mb?

gtta treat myself betta for its useless to be sorrowful
the other party wun noe..
the other party wun care
the other party doesnt bother

time heals the wound, the soul, the heart
learning to let go is the only way
till den it will always be a burden

hais

6:14 AM

Sunday, November 18, 2007

filled with apprehension..
wanna thank laoshi..wanna thank tinybox
yes will definitely train even harder and not let go of this opportunity,,
though may not be the best, i mus improve, show tt its worth all this
progressing to advance is a dream
dream may eventually not come true but i will work hard
thanks for gifing me this chance kenn laoshi

ytd was a great day..wasnt real keen on gg but glad i went
a gathering a rare opportunity 4 all music lovers
thanks laoshi for organising it!
jon laoshi was there..surprised to c him!haha..yeah n hes gg to be working in tinybox...so tt means i will get to c him more often
yeah!new eye candy..oh no!
mb its good in a way..makes me wanna forget
no i wun forget..but hes my fran
so nice so nice..took pictures with desiree..the upcoming hot babe frm msia..yeah..priceless pic..so sad may not be able to c her this often in school when her album is released next yr:(

looking ard for gift
asking ard for idea
'for a special fran hor' he said
yah for a special fran:)
a special fran whom i treasure a lot
treasuring so much tt its worth searching high n low
worth spending
worth everything
worth the time spent
so long as its gonna b a great gift
a great gift jus to make someone happy

xmas is coming tt means its gonna be the much awaited HK trip!:)

4:23 AM

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

dun wanna think bt it
thot kills
so lonely in e big mtg rm for these 2 days till jen n matt came
din wanna even tok ytd
today?more efficient
retracting whenever it wonders
a killer
its necessary
thanks zy!thanks for the msg
so glad to receive it
if u were beside me i wld haf requested for a good good hug
if any of u were ard..ys hs
but none
it's ok
realli gg to b ok
shld haf been nominated for best actress award

matts good w ideas..thanks dude!
makes alot of sense
asian guys cant be compared to westerners?mb
sorry guys but its true
so sweet..
oh well its the exposure, the life, the environment

he's joining our team
though quiet on the surface, hes fun to tok to
hopefully ur presence will lift the mood a little
let the mind rest?
doubt it will work

hate being alone for now
mind gtta b occupied

2 days online, 2 days of chat
emphathise tt u r still in office

it shldnt haf started if its this ending
but there will always be an end to a start
promises r meant to be kept not broken
once broken, there will nv b trust

as much as it yearns to stop this nonsense
the rope seems to be nv ending
disillusioned

6:10 AM

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

unbelievable..it's jus crap
wanted to confide in mum..the thot of telling her hw im feeling these days made me ached..
on train..luckily i had those papers ready..lucky tt i was at the connector area..luckily it aint crowded..
flowed like no one's biz..4th time?jus dun wanna keep track for it only makes me feel weak
yah weak's the word
call to catch up?thanks for the thot but missed the call..its fated..i rather not mb..
thanks for the call just now
much psycho-ing needed to let go mb..much much more
dun understd wad it means by whu saes i aint gg..no longer wish to read too much for disappointment shall follow
no longer trusting pple..no longer trusting the peeps of another specie..no matter wat u say its gonna be taken as a oinch of salt..can i do it?yah i haf to..i mus..
guess it will really feel alot better if u were to be doted on..to be loved den to love
mum said this before when we were younger..its true..
she will be depressed n dosappointed tt her advice was not heeded..not once but twice
yah...so a silly retarded child she has..ashamed to face her to tell her
thanks for talking to me online fran..thanks for trying to cheer me up with ur lighthearted content..cos u dunno wads happening..at least deres a vent? wun tk u as a subst. wun be fair..no more nonsense
noe not how long it will take again
noe not how long it will last
noe not how long i can take it
noe not how long i can forget
noe not how long it wun pain anymore
noe not how long it wun ache
noe not how long it wun hurt

if only i can break for a long long period..away frm everything..away frm pple..

searching for the peace within me
may the force be with me
ya..i nid to be happy..to move on
happy

6:42 AM

Saturday, November 10, 2007

fast...good times always pass by so so fast!tmr gtta work again..n the next long break will be frm the 25th to 1st JAN!!haha cant wait!oh gosh! 2008's cming:(

wad have i achieved in life thus far?

academic?yah proud to say tt i had completed and am satisfied with it...though not splendid results but at least with it ive gt a decent job:)

friendship?many many good frans along the way...to keep my life gg...frans like yanshan, zhiyu, yiting(seems like weve drifted apart), daphne, yvonne, weilin, and huishan!so so glad and wanna thank god for being do kind to me...uni is a time where u tend to be lonely..tend not to have good frans..jus accomplices.however, ive gt a very dear fran-huishan to accompany me through..thanks ger!thanks realli!

kinship? a little upset tt me n mei are not tt close anymore..sometimes gtta read her blog to noe wads happening..sigh..no time to tok?everytime back home frm work jus feel like shutting up bathe and jus concuss..sigh...try to work on this..it jus feels detached:(

relationship? hurt a lot and gt hurt? so wad does this mean? haha..just let it be...was toking to daph bt it tt day..thanks ger..yah ive gtta life better..live well to show tt i can do without...treat and love myself better to shw tt its his lost..haha..ger ah..so funny wad kinda of consolations are these?haha..hmm..thanks anw..i will be strong:)
looking at other pal, not passive, open bt it etc..yah.. tt's the way..tink when someones really into it, its this way else words like ' afraid', 'trouble' , 'gossips', 'rumours' will surface..yah i noe

glad tt the much concerned test was over ytd:) haha..keith laoshi remembered my name and kenn laoshi was surprised..jus tink tt the former has a certain aura..the bad boy kind of guys..too bad they r smokers..haha.thanks for the cmments laoshi..good tt it was soothing to the ears for the slow one and i will work on the feel so tt everything will be more natural..will work on the vocals as well..visually appealing?haha..okie..interesting..no one has given me this kinda of comments!graduation is not saturday and weve gtta perform a medley..yah i like to perform...
i like the stage, like the attention..okie...attract attention?haha..not really but i jus so love it..jus gonna enjoy myself tt day..will be quite sad will feel tt somethings missing when the course ends..and yah as ive always mentioned...good things will come to an end..yah END!

really an enjoyable time ytd night..glad tt i went for the RS2-G2 gathering..yah wad hj said is true..enjoy the company...yah impt to haf a good bunch of colleagues wrking and hanging out tgt..went to pasta waraku...not tt nice:P had dessert at menotti after dat...quite nice..good time..laughing and 'twirling hair'..so BIMBO!!haha..so funny..thanks babes! hope to haf more of these to come!!:) guess when guys are not ard..its always easy to click and chat..no nid to bother if they are gg to be left out or sthg..yah:)

suddenly hafing the urge to shop for lingerie!haha..oh my!i wanna go LA SENZA!!!50% discount!urgghhh...sheesh...okok!!!payday payday payday...but i mus save for HK trip..wanna go espirit to get a working bag...mb gt a working watch as well:) okie clothes?not really needed..gt so many alr..so its gg to be more of a sightseeing trip:) shant eat alot as usual..jus a bit will do...not a foodie anw so wun miss out a lot..

shopping with huishan was great!haha..we simply went into every departmental store, shop etc..haha..nice $20 buy! pretty top!yeah!shall go there tgt next time since weve gt 15% discount!:) heh!hopefully weve saved enuff to go travel tgt next yr!!shall aim to go japan and australia after hk...
was looking at braun buffel wallet tt day...me n hs were trying to spot a nice one..renoma..tink its jus mid class..though its quite ex alr..but for wrking class, braun will be good..status? yah i mus agree..hs has the same sentiments too..jus feel like getting one braun..tink its gonna be the highest amt i will pay for a gift for someone..dunno y but jus feel like getting cos...haha..wadever..shall wait till xmas sale?hmm..so its gonna be more shopping to check out the prices..hopefully can gt hs to go tgt to gof me comments!n mb we can both gt 2 brauns!

at ease..in peace..just tired mb..coming to terms and its good..its good and it will become better..over soon joleen..its gonna be okie..really ok

7:15 PM

Thursday, November 8, 2007

guess in times like this the only antidote will be the idol..wu chun is simply a fairy tale..so suave, so charming, so gentlemanly..hes jus the perfect prince..yah its far fetch, its day dreaming, its impossible..romantic princess is nice, straight fwd, like means like
angelas frank with herself..her emotions.. but chun aint at first..he admitted tt he liked her later..so sweet..so so sweet:)
gtta immerse in shws..esp. those with good lookers like chun..being a princess aint easy the pressure the expectation etc..wun mind if i gt to be with the perfect guy..wun mind gifing up if hes the one..tink its a weakness..gifing all n delving in..no no..no wonder it hurts its painful
3rd day w/o...it's ok..it will be ok..its alright..its gonna be over..its gonna b gone..soon i guess
gtta live better like wad daph said, gtta move on, gtta brace up..
i can be happy?thanks my frans..
tmr is gonna be good..mtg hs n yes!great will wanna spend time tgt shop walkard..at least mes occupied
aint gonna be easy but gtta try
xmas is cming...as a fran it will still be a gift..yah a gift

6:04 AM

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

dun wanna tink if im correct..dun wish to be told if ive done wrong
it's easy to be said than done
aint easy to do wad im doing
how long can i last?
having a strg believe tt it can be done..sure it can
definitely hurts,pains, aches..wadever..simply tired
it's clear, i noe..
dun wanna deny,dun wanna probe
guess 3 weeks mb enuff..
muted..simply dun wanna be seen..black has become my best fran
it's good..able to look slimmer..or thinner..yes wanna be thinner..so much so tt i can jus disappear without anyone's knowledge
dread to talk..barely speak much when home..nag..jus let it be..cant be bothered to rebute..anyway no use..
last day of work for the week..looking fwd..
activities planned by our beloved so sweet colleagues..but gt my plans..plans?haha..if slacking at home is counted as one..yah...escaping from reality?i guess so
expressed thru songs?or issit simply jus a means to vent it out?
mb its stress, lack of sleep..wadever..
darius said tt i can be happy too..yah thanks dude!i will remember..
yet happiness doesnt come by easily..yah at least for me..
taking in deep deep breaths whenever it seems like the wrlds gonna collapse on me..
nid a float..mines deflating..needing a pump to help stay afloat..
xmas' cming..aint happy..not even excited
if only it din start..there wun haf an end..cos the ending is always this miserable
i noe i can be happy

6:01 AM

Saturday, November 3, 2007

sky's cleared? i guess it is
was on course for the first 3 days of the week..interesting but mind-boggling:( not helping dat last weekend was jus making trips to n back frm the hospital...mood seemed lifted a little with dads condition improving and god blessed!hes finally discharged and back home:)
wed came and went..started bad n i knew it wasnt a day for me yet had to drag myself out of the hse..totally jus cun tk it after the msg..jus a simple short one and the impact was jus immense..lost.n in my world..wadever u text next aint impt..apologising wun help cos it aint ur fault at all..problem lies here
thanks hj!thanks for being w me and trying to talk sense into me..thanks ger!
a super long reply to and fro..
hope it really meant wad it said..:)
quite awkward ytd..really i mus sae..but shld be fine soon cos its not the first time
thanks shan i so love to talk to u!great to hear ur voice...sorry tt me was alr home so din manage to meet up:( but its nice for u to listen and to tell me ur side of things..yar 'y make it so complicated when things can be so simple!' im gg to remember this!
went to swim this morn...good great swim!thot thru and yes...simplicity is bliss..so its gonna be simple from now on:)
sky's cleared..better than expected!im happy and im looking fwd to the normal days and im proud to say tt im back!
simplicity is bliss and things aint so complicated when u dun wan them to be!

12:55 AM