din really wanna blog this..thot for a long while..typed a long long msg n sent to my dearest fran!thanks ger...it may mean nothing to u my dear fran but at least i noe u read it..u r busy mugging n doing projs but i noe u had read them..ive gtta thank u for that my fran..i miss u shan!i so so miss u i hope u r here with me n i can jus break down n be myself dear ger..so miss u and hope u can gif me a big big hug..i so wish u were with me:) thanks for u msg jus now..im appreciative for that..
yah im a fool..mb shld jus take it easy n jus b a player..one of colleagues said to jus enjoy n gif urself 6 mths..after dat? not compatible?break lor..!y tk it so hard?y tk it so seriously? lifes short..jus enjoy the moments..in this case i wld had been on par with him
it's a disgusting feeling..disappointed with mself..guess its uncontrollable..mb it shldnt have started..y those golden moment n now its hellish..3 yrs ago and 3 yrs ltr..how many 3 yrs do i haf..how i wish i know not how to feel...know not how to sense..can i jus be emotionless..i hate the current feeling
how i wish i can jus throw tt phone away n not bother w everything..can i go into isolation?i wan to but i cant..
i dun like this..was aware of the result but i went ahead..serves me right..shld jus go for opearation..operate on the heart so i will be heartless..next?remove the tear glands so i know not how to tear..2nd time to be tt moved?no wonder..but its the 3rd one..first?not worth them..2nd? just being silly...3rd? tink its worth but not so..conclusion? silly, stupid, an idiot!
cant cfm it aint gg to happen again..cant cfm tt it will be well..cant cfm if i cld let go..
choosing to tk it easy..tk it in my own stride..im strger than tt..i believe..
mood aint good at all..depression sadness..gloomy days...ahead?dunno...dependent on meself..able to choose to be happy..to sink in etc..im hacking? cant be bothered to think?know not wad i want..
threw myself bk into the hole n i hope partner is with me now..scold me chide me...jus kill me for being a fool..
mb wad matt said is true..jus go w the flow..play ard..enjoy the companionship..doesnt work out..dats it...6 mths?off u go!
cant believe im pondering on this idea..of cos ive frans whu r lidis..
guess i wun be a good player or mb i shld start being one to get the ball rolling..haha
when u were hurt deep down..u jus wldnt wanna care so much bt others..this is simply call:'revenge'